


Walls of the empty room

by BinBingBong



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Gen, Goodbyes, Memories, Moving On, Moving Out, Sad, This is sad im sorry it came to me suddenly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:59:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinBingBong/pseuds/BinBingBong
Summary: Sanghyuk stands in the middle of the empty dorm, and tears falls because he knows,  it's the last time he'll see this place...the last string that tied them together
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

“is that all?” Wonshik asks sitting on one of the sturdier boxes they have yet to move. Sanghyuk dusts his hands on his jeans and looks around, aside from the two Wonshik is sitting on and the couple of shopping bags Sanghyuk put his jackets in, the room is empty

“Yeah,I think “ he says after a moment “let me check the room one last time ‘’ Wonshik hums looking down at his phone and the youngest makes to his room.

He looks around for any box or bag they missed, but there isn't any. He pats his pockets to check for his wallet and other smaller items and it's all there. 

Once they move the remaining boxes in Wonshik's car, he'll be completely out of the dorm. And it hits him, just there ,just then...he'll be moved out of the dorm…

He will leave the dorm.. 

The dorm...His home will be empty. His home will no longer be…

  
  
  


In the lounge Wonshik sways his legs where he is sitting putting his phone back and the box squeak in protest so he gets off them. He settles on leaning on the door of what used to be Taekwoon's room and waits for the youngest to return. There is a lot on his mind, the new demo track, the dinner with the Show director. Telling his Manager to contact their finance team for reports. He's been busy, and he doesn't realize, caught in his thoughts, that the youngest didn't return.

When he does realize though,he glances down at his watch and it's been almost 15 minutes since sanghyuk went down the corridor. 

“Hyuk ah” he calls out but gets no reply, an unsettling feeling surrounds him, just mild but nagging and Wonshik makes his way in the corridor,to where his old room used to be .

He takes the first step inside the room, the name of his member on the tip of his tongue when he stops dead in his tracks, just one step inside the room.

Sanghyuk is standing between the empty room, looking at the walls that once used to host their wall clock and the youngest isn't moving, Wonshik think maybe he isn't even breathing from the way he's standing so still. 

“Sanghyuk what- “ the question dies on his tongue when the youngest turns around and there is an expression on his face that Wonshik is hit by,  _ hard _ . He takes in the features, and realizes, it's pain...And sadness. Sanghyuk is looking at him with so much sadness that Wonshik feels his throat tighten, he doesn't know what happened in the span of a few minutes but he open his mouth to day something when Sanghyuk beats him to it….”Hyung” 

It's barely a whisper, soft and broken and Wonshik doesn't think he imagined the thickness in his voice.

He wants to ask what wrong, what sanghyuk saw in the empty room that made him like this… what made him freeze in the middle of the room where their beds used to be…

Where there beds used to be , he tears his gaze from the painful expression in Sanghyuk's eyes to look around, where once used to be Sanghyuk's computer setup,there's nothing there, the fitted wardrobe is empty, no clothes hanging there or messily thrown inside. There are no beds in the middle anymore, no two single beds they pushed together and combined so they could easily sprawl on it and sometimes Wonshik would go to Hyuk's side and hug the youngest in his sleep.

The walls that used to have not only Hyuk's gaming poster, but his Drake and Chris Brown posters as well are empty. The brown walls are empty and sadness seems to see off of them, in a way that's overwhelming. 

It's a big room, that's why two of them used to share it but without any of its furniture , it feels so big, too big...unbearably so. 

There aren't any Sanghyuk's pushes and pillows pushed in the corner, or any headphones lying around, none of his clothes messily thrown on the floor that Hongbin always nagged at, or the socks that neither of them bothered to put in the laundry basket.

And then, he feels something hot sliding off his cheeks, he touches it to realize it's a tear. 

He doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't want to cry. He meets Hyuk's gaze again and the youngest is still looking at him, his eyes are red and Wonshik doesn't know if it's because he's holding back tears. There a loose strand of his hair on his eye, and lips slightly parted. Wonshik looks at him, and he knows he looks the same.the youngest’s throat is trembling, his Adam's apple bobbing, and the corners of his eyes are twitching. Wonshik knows he's holding his tears back. 

He knows why he's crying. 

He closes his eyes, and throws his head back to rest at the wall that once hung their clothes and swallows, blinking his tears back and prays that he doesn't cry.

He doesn't know if he can stop it he starts crying.

  
  
  
  


Sanghyuk watched Wonshik silently, his tears are thrashing to fall and he doesn't know why he was hit by emotions like that the way he was...like a tidal wave, hard and heavy. 

He knew he was leaving soon, he has been packing for weeks now, in fact he was already packed a week ago,the room wasn't much different than it was now since a while ago so why now did these emotions hit him

He's been through this, he saw Hakyeon pack and move out, he saw Wonshik pack the last of his stuff and move into his new apartment, move the last of his things from the company and their practice room to his new workplace… hell , he saw Jaehwan, move out from his small room, the room that made sanghyuk more relaxed than his own, the bed he fell asleep on , on more than a few nights, he saw Jaehwan hyung leave, move to a house 20 minutes away, the person who he shared all of his nights and days with…

He saw Hongbin, leave,abruptly , in the matter of days, and he knew it would be lonely the most without him. All of those hurt, but they all...all of them could come back, they came back, Hongbin or Wonshik at nights, Jaehwan at day to play with him, Hakyeon even before he enlisted 

And Taekwoon was here often, he hadn't left completely… until a few weeks ago, when his duty called the older man moved the last of his stuff out . 

They sold the extra stuff, the furniture members didn't take,the shared stuff and electronics.

The dorm,over the course of last year only got emptier and emptier each passing day and it never hurt him like this.

But now standing in the middle of his room, for 6 years, so many memories and nights he spent here… and now, the last if them, he was leaving, and they would lose this place, the place they build everything in, the place they shared their whole lives in, from the few years after debut when they  _ actually  _ got close… it would no longer be 

And when he felt the tear streaming down his face, he made no move to stop it. 

If he could, he would stay but none of them had the finances to keep renting out a big place like this on their own and they all had to pay for their own places now.

Sanghyuk swallowed, eyes brimming with unshed tears and his feat moved of their own accords,leading him to Jaehwan's door. He opened the door softly, it creaked from being unused and when he looked inside it was completely empty but the images that went in front of his eyes, every single day and night, he knew he would never truly be able to let go if this place.

Wonshik was hovering behind him and he didn't say anything when sanghyuk looked around his room one last time, knowing it would truly be the last because there would be new owners soon, and stepped out, steps heavy… Wonshik followed.

Similarly both of them silently looked inside Taekwoon and Hongbin's room, to find them empty of anything but the images of memories.

When Sanghyuk moved to open Hakyeon’s room, Wonshik stayed back, he didn't ask him to come , knowing well how hard it was for the rapper.

Unlike the other room, when he opened Hakyeon’s, it felt fresh, and alive. A sad smile crept on his face… its Hakyeon’s effect. He stood there for minutes, this was the last source of closure with their leader, after he left, there would truly be nothing of Hakyeon’s to find comfort in for the remaining year. Sanghyuk realized then, he came in this room too often the last few months, he didn't notice how much comfort it brought him.

Just when he was about to leave, something caught his eye, a small card peeking out of the wall hanging on one side. 

He moved to take it out, and it was a wallet size picture of the six of them. Sanghyuk doesn't remember taking it, but they look happy and dressed well, he clenches his fist softly and closes the door behind him

Wonshik is in the middle of the lounge awkwardly like it's bringing him physical pain...Hyuk knows it's bringing  _ him _ pain to stand in the place where the lounged in the couch watching too many TV shows together, where they slept tangled together , where they fought and cried, laughed and played ...it's empty now. It hurts.

He picks up the last of his bags, and the elder does the same. Sanghyuk quitely takes one of Wonshik's hand in his and leads them out of the house, he doesn't miss how heavy their steps are or how Wonshik glanced back…

They make out the door in silence and he punched the code to lock the gate for the last time in forever.

The drive is silent, but Wonshik doesn't let go of Sanghyuk's hand and he doesn't try to do so either. They both say nothing but they know each other's hearts well. 

When Sanghyuk gets out of the car, they don't say goodbye...they'll see each other soon. They never say goodbye, none of them, he knows they don't like the possible implications of the word even if it's not true 

Sanghyuk shuts the door softly and moves to wonshik's side, he takes the elders hand for a second and puts the small photograph in his palm and walks away.

He knows they'll both cry when they're alone, tears are already heavily slipping on his face, but he knows Wonshik needs more comfort than he does

  
  
  


The first tear falls on Wonshik's face when he looks at the small photo in his hands, and then, the tears don't stop.

They don't stop for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another sad one. ;-; I didn't plan on writing more about this topic? But I was reading something and it hit me so hard so I ended up writing my thoughts down. I just feel like maybe Sanghyuk would have been the most effected about everything, he's big and appears tough but we know he's still out soft baby.   
> Either ways, Happy reading even tho this is sad 😔

Sanghyuk is homesick. 

The dorm is quiet and unfamiliar and all the hyungs are asleep but Sanghyuk can't. He can't sleep, because this is not his bed, the sheets do not smell of his mom's choice of detergents, the ceiling doesn't have any glowing stars he can count and the bodies surrounding him are unfamiliar.

It's late October, it's been one year and 3 months since he left home to become a trainee and debuted in a group yet every few days there are nights where he feels home sick to the point he feels like crying.

And because Sanghyuk is young , he cries. The sounds are muffled against his pillow and he keeps himself from hiccuping because he doesn't want to wake the hyungs. He doesn't want to wake them up because they're tired and won't get to sleep much longer anyway. 

So he cries, silent and soft. No one wakes up,but Sanghyuk wishes someone did. Sanghyuk wants someone to tell him it's okay, hold him while he cries and tell him that it's gonna be okay. He's gonna get to go home soon to his parents; just 2 months till Christmas and then he won't feel homesick anymore.

  
  
  


Sanghyuk is homesick. 

His apartment is warm and there's soft music in the background. Soeul is still awake, lights shinning and bright even as the clock hits 2 am.

The view from Sanghyuk's bedroom is beautiful, one of the main reasons why he chose this apartment. The sheets smell of the detergent he uses and the pillows are soft. Everything in the room is familiar and his and even the ceiling has glowing stars pasted on it.

But Sanghyuk can't sleep. 

Sanghyuk- is homesick 

It's December, 3 days until Christmas. It's been 8 years since he left his  _ parents' ho _ me with dreams to become an idol.

And now he's older and mature and he doesn't miss his parents' home anymore. 

Yet, he's still homesick.

He stands up from his bed and gently pads outside the room; socked feet on the heated floor , to get a glass of water The house is small but feels so big, feels so empty and even though it's his home, it doesn't feel like it.

There are no sounds coming from the other rooms, no whispers, no hyungs coming in late at night; tiptoeing across the corridor not to wake up the others, there's no dirty laundry thrown messily to be dealt with later.

Sanghyuk lays down again on the bed and there are no bodies around him, no soft breathing or loud snoring. No shuffling of blankets, no shifting of bodies. The room is warm yet Sanghyuk feels cold, and empty. He feels empty.

And even though Sanghyuk is an adult now, he feels like crying. So he cries, but the sound is still muffled by his pillow and he doesn't make any noises. There's no one he would awake anymore but he wishes he would. He wishes he could cry harder and louder and someone would wake up, tell him it's okay and hold him while he cries. Someone who would tell him that he'll get to go home soon to his hyungs and he won't feel homesick anymore.

But there's no one here with Sanghyuk, and he falls asleep crying that night; because he knows the home he misses, is no longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can cry with me in the comments if you wanna :((((😔

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sad 😔 and sorry. Sometimes I write to tame my feelings and end up being angsty.  
> I appreciate comments :((((


End file.
